Working with limitation
So I've only got a few colours of acrylic paint left; it's sod's law isn't it that I invested money in my oils which I can't use now due to headaches, but I could try a different approach and only use them out of doors; another limitation which could breed spectacular results, who knows!
As for the acrylics, I am dwindling my supply on purpose as I want to upgrade my products anyway and it's time to take on a whole new approach. I'm not sure what the new one is, but the old one goes something like this; want it, buy it, use it perhaps but maybe not for the next five years...what? the wastage on this is bad! I need something like this instead; Plan it, construct a model (I.e. a visual list of ten paintings using the same colours) buy the colours actually required and use them. Buy less, buy better quality, use more, waste less.
The planning bit scares me slightly but I do know what I mean. By this I mean; scribble out some designs on ten different sheets of paper. Use them when you can. Do all of them and watch your style evolve but stick to a similar scheme of colours.
By limiting my choices I am learning to focus in on various tasks now. This is important because I have felt my lack of focus to be a drawback in many ways. I've felt overly scattered and this does not help to create a feeling of direction. Even if I've had a direction, the lack of feeling it can be obliterating to the enjoyment of art making and that's not what it's about. If it ceases to be enjoyable for any reason, then that reason must be identified and put right. Life is too short to live in the shadow of what you want to be.
Even if your limits seem large and your freedoms small, there is inherent value in this. Find it.
Something learned is something earned...
I thought I should probably keep track of my revelations as they occur because then I can remember what I've learned!! You know how easy it is to forget stuff? I mean even to the point of forgetting something major that is having an impact on how we see ourselves? How can we forget to practice the new skills that bring us so much freedom? I don't know, habit I suppose, but I'm sure it's happened to me all my life, you know, you do something amazing for a week, like a great new yoga move that really suits your energy and supports your growth and then life takes over in it's inimitable way and we forget what we were doing that was making us be so amazing and we go back to searching for answers that we already found!! Crazy and exasperating...I don't suppose it's just me but I suspect it's part of many people's experience, whether they know it or not. Would be interesting to find out, but in the mean time I'm going to try and structure my thoughts about what I've been learning. Whether I keep it up is another matter all together!!
I've learned today that I need not moniter my thoughts for negativity, but to sink down into my heart and body to feel my feelings. They are far more accurate an indicator to whether something is truly bothering me or not, and it feels good to be keeping in touch with myself on this more visceral level instead of in my head all the time. My friend Al. came up with the word 'Surrenderance' for the act of letting go into one's self, positive or negatively oriented at any given moment. I love this, even though it didn't appear in the dictionary (why I have to be such a pedantic idiot sometimes I'll never know!) and I think she's got a feel in that word that says it all. It's a dance of surrender...oh wow! I love this learning today, this is so....yar!
Gifty shades of learning technology incorporated. Yeah, I meant GIFTY...it's a gift see!
AH HA!
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